The Engagement Ring Mistakes I See Most Often

I’ve been making jewellery since I started my apprenticeship at 16, and engagement rings are now most of what I do at The Middle Green. Most of the rings that come back to me for changes have the same few problems. They aren’t badly made rings. They’re rings that weren’t quite thought through for the person wearing them every day

Here are the mistakes I see most often, and how to avoid them

1. Guessing the ring size

This is the big one, especially with a surprise proposal. People borrow a ring from the jewellery box, but it’s often worn on a different finger or the other hand, and fingers aren’t the same size on both hands

If you can, borrow a ring she wears on her left ring finger, or ask a friend or family member to find out quietly. If you’re unsure, it’s better to go slightly bigger than too small, because a ring that won’t go over the knuckle on the day isn’t the moment you want

Most plain bands can be resized later. Some designs can’t, or not easily, such as full eternity rings and stones set all the way around the band, so tell your jeweller early if the size is a guess

2. Chasing carat over cut

A bigger diamond isn’t always a better-looking one. Cut has the biggest effect on how much a diamond sparkles, and a well-cut smaller stone will often look brighter across the room than a poorly cut larger one

If budget is tight, I’d rather put the money into a good cut and a well-made setting than stretch for size. The same goes for coloured stones. A lively sapphire with good colour will always beat a bigger, dull one

3. Forgetting about the wedding band

An engagement ring is usually worn next to a wedding ring for decades, but the wedding band is often an afterthought. Some engagement rings are set so low, or have such a wide head, that a straight band won’t sit flush against them, which leaves a gap

That isn’t always a problem. A shaped or fitted wedding band can follow the line of the engagement ring perfectly. But it’s worth thinking about both rings together from the start, so the pair looks like it was meant to sit side by side

You can see how I approach this on my wedding rings page

4. Choosing for the photo, not for everyday life

A ring has to live on a hand that works, cooks, gardens, goes to the gym and gets knocked on door frames. Very high settings catch on jumpers and hair. Very fine bands look delicate on day one but wear thin over the years and become harder to resize or repair

Stone choice matters too. Diamonds and sapphires are hard enough for daily wear. Softer or more fragile stones like opal, emerald or tanzanite can be beautiful, but they need more care and a more protective setting

The best ring is one that suits the person’s life as well as their taste. That’s a big part of what we talk about in a consultation

5. Leaving it too late

Bespoke takes time to do properly. From the first conversation through the design, the CAD, casting, setting and finishing, my bespoke rings usually take 6 to 8 weeks. Rushing any stage is where things go wrong

If you’re planning a proposal around a date, like Christmas, a birthday or a holiday, start earlier than you think you need to. If time has run out, you can still propose with a design and make the finished ring together afterwards, which many couples prefer anyway

6. Overlooking what’s already in the family

Some of the most meaningful rings I make start with a stone that’s been sitting in a drawer. A grandmother’s diamond, an old-cut stone or a ring that no longer gets worn can often be reset into something new that still carries the history

It’s always worth asking family before buying a new stone. I can look at what you have and tell you honestly what can be reused. Read more about family diamond engagement rings

Getting it right from the start

Almost all of these come down to the same thing: talking it through before anything is made. When you work with me, you’re speaking to the person designing and making your ring, so we can cover the size, the stone, the wedding band and how it’ll be worn from the very first conversation

Bespoke engagement rings start from around £1,450, and wedding bands from £300. If you’d like to talk through an idea, you can see more of my bespoke engagement rings or book a consultation, remote or in person by appointment